In my most recent newsletter, I mentioned that I've been learning to manage my depression over the last couple of years and how that has stifled my creative output. I received a beautiful and heartfelt email from my friend Brian after he read that. Brian and I have been in a band together, him singing his heart out trying to ignore my crazy stage antics, and we worked together managing a vineyard and property. The subject line of his message was Rember the Foxes and he reminded me to take the time to appreciate our natural world, and how it helps to heal us and can combat or even reverse the symptoms of depression and anxiety. After getting his email and reflecting on my time at the vineyard, where I was working in tandem with nature every day, I was inspired to write the piece below.
This is for Brian, a true friend, I'm glad to have you in my life.
Remember The Foxes
The crows live in thees on the mountain above the fence line
They talk to each other all day long
It’s their fault that it is never truly quiet out here
Disrupters of the peace
Brash, loud, insistent
Constantly flaunting their intelligence
Crows have language, loyalty, community
They come to each other’s aid in times of distress
They take no shit from the hawks, not even the ones paying them no mind
Which seems unnecessarily asshole-ish
Still, they behave better than many people
We all can name a few
And sure, the crows eat the grapes, then again, who doesn’t?
At least they’re clean about it, leaving no mess behind
Not like those songbirds we all think of so fondly
I don’t want them in the vineyard
Pecking the berries, letting juice run all over the cluster
They leave rot and disease behind
Not as nasty as the deer to be fair
But that’s what the fence is for
Black snakes are some of my favorite people
They don’t bother with anyone
Simply chilling, just hanging out
Keeping the place free from mice, rats, and other assorted vermin
Rats are smart, I fostered one for a friend for a while
He was cool, I would hand-feed him peanuts and pretzels
He was good company but I wouldn’t want him living in the barn
Tunneling under the floors, making nests inside the equipment
Leaving mess and stink everywhere
I’ll take the black snakes and a rodent-free workspace
Sure, a snake will occasionally get in the rafters and eat a swallow’s egg
I am sad on behalf of the swallow, but they don’t mind
They are naturally suited to the cycle of life
People often don’t want barn swallows and install spikes to keep them from roosting
They do leave droppings
Piles of them under each nest
And there’s not only one, or two, or a few
Sometimes it’s a few dozen
But I don’t mind sharing the space with them, it’s only for a few months anyway
And you get used to the mamas and the papas zooming in and out
Bringing food to their chicks
After a while, you don’t flinch anymore
The rewards for not evicting them are incalculable
Watching them hunt while I’m mowing a field, dislodging insects from the grass
It’s a sight to make you wonder if the laws of physics have been revoked
The Flying Wallendas couldn’t hold a candle to the careening, cartwheeling aerial acrobatics of a barn swallow
But the show stopper of the life tolerating our intrusion is the foxes
They live in dens in the woods, out of sight, off-site
Outside the perimeter of the vineyards
Not like those greasy groundhogs
Their burrows are amongst the vines
Entrance holes in the row ready to break an ankle, or axle
The foxes are far more polite
Sometimes while doing tractor work I see them tooling around
Going from one place to another
The best days are the ones when the work is done in time to watch the foxes hunt
It is for me the most peace to be found in the vineyard
Me: still, quiet, unnoticed
Them: stalking, prancing, dancing
Hopping straight up into the air to avoid detection of unwary prey
The graceful loping as they carry dinner back to the pups in the den
Trotting on their toes, pleased with themselves and their success
Disappearing back into the woods leaving me in awe of what I just witnessed
A reminder that for all our striving to manipulate nature
Bending it to our will for superficial monetary gains
The crows, snakes, swallows, and foxes have a better way of being
They don’t fight against the world
They live in it
With it
They are beautiful for it
In these moments all I can find to say is
Thank You
Photo by Scott Walsh on Unsplash